If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
