Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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