just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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