i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
