You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Randomize
