you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
