glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize