everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
