Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
