I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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