i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
