He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Randomize
