we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
