I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
