There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
