Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
