those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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