He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
