Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
