if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
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