dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
