Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Randomize
