If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Drunk is not a location!
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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