I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
