Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
this boner is exhausting
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
