it's not cheating when I paid for it
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Randomize
