I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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