now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
