Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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