And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
