community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
