if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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