can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Oh god it's open bar.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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