she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I am spending my child support on dildos
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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