Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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