It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
