did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
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