so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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