it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
