i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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