Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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