you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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