i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
