this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
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