she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
