Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
