he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
