it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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