i permit you to call me
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Boobs speak an international language.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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