After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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