the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
