please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
