Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Randomize
