Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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