Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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