So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
