RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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