Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
