I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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